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SNEAK ATTACK SUNDAY: GWARRR!

January 20th 2008 11:29
It's a new feature! We here at The Comic Nerd have always been partial to a good sucker punch, backstab, or sneak attack. And now our love of the art has verily overflown, until we must display it in pictorial form! In our first installment, let us see what happens when giants go wand'ring in the bleak tundra of Icewind Dale...

Aww, ain't he loveable? Don't get too attached...



GWAAARRR!!!


This week's edition of Sneak Attack Sunday was brought to you by Forgotten Realms: The Crystal Shard #2, by R.A. Salvatore, Andrew Dabb, and Val Semeiks.
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Yeah, that's the question I'm asking. For the longest time the Scarlet Witch was described as 'demure', and pretty much acted the part. But let's see, shall we? Just how many super-powered guys has she had a thing for?



Well, there's Cyclops, for starters. This one never went anywhere.




Then there's Namor, the Sub-Mariner. This one also went nowhere.



Captain America. This one also went nowhere - do you sense a pattern developing? Mind you, the Scarlet Witch must've kept this one lingering in the back of her mind - she did kinda sorta seduce him during Avengers Disassembled a few years ago.



Aaaaand of course, it's the Vision! Now Vision is a robot (sorry, synthozoid) but that didn't stop these two from getting married and kinda sorta almost having semi-real children. Yeah, it's complicated.



That's the Scarlet Witch with Hawkeye, in a comic from about a year ago. Hawkeye had a thing for her way back in the 1960s, but she was more interested in the robot up there. Fast-forward by a few decades - the Witch goes nuts, kills Hawkeye, becomes amnesiac, brings Hawkeye back to life, and they hook up in Central Europe. It's a funny old world, innit?



And finally, there's the Angel. This comic was published last year, but it actually occurred at the same time as comics from the 1960s - you know, about the same time as she was pining after Cyclops, Namor and Captain America.

And of course there was Wonder Man, but you know what? I couldn't find a picture. Come on, YOU try remembering anything with Wonder Man in it. This was another complicated one, since Wonder Man and the Vision have basically the same brain. After the Vision got mind-wiped, she went and hooked up with WM. Creepy, huh?

So that's a grand total of... seven. Which is interesting, because my point is... Actually, I have no point. I just wanted to do a count there. Move along, nothing witty or profound to see here.
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SPIDER-MAN: ONE MORE DAY

January 3rd 2008 12:58
One More Day.

Three words, and probably the three most controversial words in comic fandom today. For those who've been hiding under a highly impenetrable rock for the last week, here's the deal. It's all about Spider-Man, see? You know the score - lovable loser, bitten by radioactive spider, uses powers for good after becoming accidentally responsible for his uncle's death. Fought lots of villains, girlfriend got killed, married a supermodel later on...

And there's the sticking point - Spider-Man is married. This happened 20 years ago, which is longer than many of today's readers have been following the title. But a lot of writers, and more importantly Marvel's Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada, don't think he should be. It's a reasonable viewpoint. There are a lot more situations you can stick Peter Parker in, at least as far as romantic angles go, when he's single. And perhaps it's no coincidence that the Spidey books were mostly good up until the mid-80s, and mostly crap afterwards. But leaving that aside, Joe Quesada (and others I'm sure) decides Spider-Man is no longer to be married, so married he will no longer be.

But there's a problem! A major goal of unmarrying Spider-Man is to make him seem younger. If he gets a divorce, he seems older. If his wife Mary-Jane dies, he becomes a widower and seems older. And you know, he can't cheat on his wife, or he's a rotten bastard. So what's the natural solution? Deal with the devil of course!

That's the story of One More Day. Peter Parker's Aunt May is dying, so Mephisto pops up and gives him a choice. He will save Aunt May's life at a price - Peter Parker's marriage. And because Peter's a very guilty sort, he more or less accepts. Cue Mephisto causing some temporal shenanigans, and the new status quo of Spider-Man is born, the basics of which are as follows:

* Peter Parker and Mary Jane never got married twenty years ago. They never got married at all.

* Everyone forgets that Peter Parker is Spider-Man

* Harry Osborn is alive again.

Now obviously, this plays havoc with Spider-Man's continuity - in essence, the last two decades worth of stories did not happen as written. Not to mention the ripples this should have on Marvel continuity as a whole, as Spider-Man is a pretty central figure who interacts with nearly everyone. This could ugly very quickly.

Needless to say, comic fandom has been pretty upset by these developments. This is not a minor retcon - it's an invalidation of hundreds and hundreds of comics. Sure, those comics still exist, and many of the events may have happened almost exactly as depicted, but the principle stands. Marvel have made their stance clear, and that stance is that its own history no longer matters. They can change anything whenever they wish, no matter how contrived the manner used to get there.

All this has been caused by one of the central conflicts that publishers face with superhero soap operas. A sizable portion of their audience, and especially the longterm readers, place a lot of value on continuity and character growth. They want to see the characters develop and progress through life as regular people do. They want to see Peter Parker graduate hihg school, move through college, get married, have children. They may even want to see him grow old, and have someone else take over his mantle. And why not, it works in a lot of other genres, doesn't it?

And then there's the other side of the coin. Many believe that every character has an iconic state that they should not progress beyond. The characters should not undergo permanent major changes in their lives, but rather exist in a state where change is temporary or cosmetic. This is a valid viewpoint as well - all successful superheroes have a storytelling engine that drives them, and tinkering with that engine can close off a lot of options. Taking Spider-Man as an example, look at his job at the Daily Bugle. He works as a freelance photographer, and this has a lot of storytelling potential - plus it's an easy way for him to hear about crimes. Recently he left that job to become a teacher, which is fine for a few stories, but it doesn't exactly work as a method for getting Spider-Man into superhero adventures.

So, growth or iconic stature? It's a difficult question, and Spider-Man is the character at the heart of the problem more so than any others. After all, he's the only A-list superhero to begin life as a teenager and grow into adulthood. He started in high school, and graduated after a few years. He progressed through college, and the love of his life was killed by his archenemy. And then he got married - what could be more natural?

The problem is that the core of Spider-Man's character is that he is a loser. He might win as Spider-Man, but he can't have to many victories as Peter Parker or the series gets dull. He needs problems, one after another after another. Money problems, work problems, supervillain problems, frail Aunt problems. And yes, girl problems. Obviously the marriage cuts the last of those off, because Spider-Man can't even entertain the thought of other women and still retain his rep as a virtuous guy.

I'm not sure where I stand on the situation. Is Spider-Man more entertaining as a single guy? Absolutely. But I love reading about the life of Peter Parker, and I love it as an developing story. I'm a continuity nut. Yes, I realise that not every detail can be adhered to. But for every character there are broad strokes that must apply. Spider-Man got married, and that's the status quo that Marvel should be dealing with.

The title's will be good for the foreseeable future, I've no doubt about that. Amazing Spider-Man is shifting to a thrice-monthly schedule, with rotating writers and artists. And with talent like Dan Slott, Marc Guggenheim and Bob Gale, it will entertain if nothing else. I'm just not sure that I'll care anymore, because who knows now when Marvel will shift the goalposts again?

There is one ray of hope. It is possible, however unlikely, that this is a finite story which will end in a couple of years with Mephisto's spell broken and Peter reunited with his wife. I can't see it happening, personally, but it's always possible.

The only solution I really see now is a complete reboot. Not just of Spider-Man - reboot the entire Marvel Universe. Give every major character a send-off, wrap it all up with a gigantic crossover, and start the whole thing over from scratch. Do this every twenty or thirty years, and you solve the problem. Characters can age and grow. Continuity will not grow to such an unwieldy level. And characters will remain fresh for every generation, never aging too much . And best of all, the characters get an ending to their story, instead of a never-ending series of events. It's not the perfect solution, but I do think it is the best one.
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MARVEL SOLICITATIONS FOR MARCH 2008

December 28th 2007 13:53
In the spirit of the holiday season (which for me is the spirit of sitting around doing very little) I am once again relying upon the Marvel solicitations to prop me up. Looking back on my archives, I've been doing a bit too much of this recently - but no more! One of my New year's Resolutions is to use my internet time more productively - so next year expect less of me randomly trawling Dungeons & Dragons message boards, and more of me actually updating The Comic Nerd.

But before all of that, back to our regularly scheduled filler - what's coming from Marvel in March next year


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Many are the awesome things that have been spoken in the English language. But can any of them top the majesty, the sheer bombasticity, of Blastaar, the Living Bomb-Burst?


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PROFESSOR X'S MOST WONDERFUL INVENTION

November 26th 2007 11:10
So what is the most wonderful, amazing, frabtrapulous contraption ever invented by Professor Charles Xavier? What's his most useful invention? He's come out with quite a few good ones. There's Cerebro, which he uses to find other mutants, but that one has a tendency to go nuts and try to kill the X-Men. And then there's the Danger Room, full of deadly traps with which the X-Men can hone their skills. That one also has a tendency to go nuts and try to kill the X-Men. And of course there is the Blackbird, a modified SR-71 jet that can go really fast and evade radar and all sorts of cool stuff like that. It's never gone nuts, but it does get blown up a lot, which has the potential to kill any X-Men inside.

I'm no expert on the matter, so we turn to Jean Grey, his former student, who is about to demonstrate her favourite invention of the Professor's. Let's see how she's getting on


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MARVEL SOLICITATIONS FOR FEBRUARY 2008

November 21st 2007 05:12
Holy crap, is it that time of the month already? Yes indeed, time once again for me to get some cheap content, courtesy of Marvel's Solicitations. Let's take a gander at the highlights of what they have to offer us in a few months time.

CLANDESTINE #1 (of 5)
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JACK KIRBY: DRUG FIEND!!!!

October 26th 2007 13:00
There's a question that always comes up when you're sitting around with your mates looking at pictures of Ego the Living Planet - was Jack Kirby on drugs? Although, to be more accurate, it's usually more of an assertation - as in, "Man, Kirby just had to be on The Drugs." But either way, it's an unproven theory. Stan Lee denies that any of the Marvel Bullpen were on drugs during the 1960s, but Stan can barely remember a thing these days, and that's not exactly the sign of a sober consciousness.

But, in this seemingly fruitless investigation, I have turned up some startling evidence! I present to you a panel from Strange Tales Annual #2, in which Spider-Man and the Human Torch team up to outwit the wily Fox


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MARVEL SOLICITATIONS JANUARY 2008

October 18th 2007 10:48
Ah, good old Marvel Solicitations! Just when I have nothing to post about, they come along like clockwork to save me. Behold, the wondrous bounty that awaits in January 2008!

ULTIMATE HUMAN #1 (of 4)
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THIS JUST IN: COMIC PROS ARE BORING

October 15th 2007 13:36
Last Sunday the Armageddon Sci-Fi Convention hit Melbourne. Needless to say I was there, as I am not one to miss a chance to hobnob with the Nerd Pantheon. I was hoping to have a very exciting post to gush about how very entertaining and interesting the whole experience was. Alas, I do not have that post.

Here's a piece of advice. If you ever get the chance to attend a panel that features Jimmy Palmiotti, Gail Simone, Amanda Conner and Nicola Scott go visit the dentist instead. Both will probably put you to sleep, but at least the dentist will fix your teeth in the process


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MY GEEK-OUT MOMENT OF 2007

September 29th 2007 09:53
So I was perusing the fine message boards over at Comixfan, and what should I see before me? Merely... the unthinkable! For never did I think that I may one day brush up against the giants, nay the very Gods, of this most awesome industry. I present to you a moment of pure Nerd Joy:

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It seems fitting to kick off my re-entry into Orbledom with another entry in my most favouritest of series - The Most Awesome Things Said in the English Language Ever!

So here we go, with a debut entrance from that most illustrious of X-Men foes, the mega-awesome Magneto


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BACK IN THE SADDLE

August 28th 2007 06:20
Hello there Nerdites and Nerdettes, it's me. Who, I hear you ask? Just me, the actual maintainer of this blog, from back in the dim dark days when it was actually updated. Ask your grandparents, one of them might remember me!

The reasons for my absence are legion, but can be condensed down to one word - marriage. Weddings require money, and comics require money, and one had to go. Much to my dismay it was the comics, and so I have spent the last six months in a state of permanent withdrawal, experiencing the good old four-colour DTs


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In Iron Man movie news, a shot has been posted of one of the armours that Tony Stark will be wearing in the film:


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