Chronological Fantastic Four Reviews (#4)
October 20th 2006 13:34
FANTASTIC FOUR #4 by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby
As my regular readers may remember, when last we left the FF they had become the FT, with the angry departure of the Human Torch (otherwise known as Johnny Storm). That's where this issue kicks off, with Johnny's team-mates searching for him. A noble cause, for certain, but Sue undermines this nobility by stealing someone's soda while invisible! There's no way she could have bought it, she was invisible the whole time. Dem women, there's no trustin' 'em!
So with Sue committing Grand Theft Cola, and Reed interrogating the local youths (by yanking one off his moving motorcycle, no less!), it's the Thing who actually gets a clue and finds Johnny fixing hot rods at the local garage. As usually happens in the early issues when these two interact, there is a fight. The Thing randomly turns human, then back into a monster, but he's already done that once by now, and it won't be the last time (oh, the tragedy!).
Johnny is understandably pissed off, so he heads to the Bowery to find a place to stay. The Bowery is an area of New York where bums and derelicts hang out, so naturally who does Johnny find there? An amnesiac, bearded Sub-Mariner (also known as Namor)!
In an uncharacteristic display of common sense, Johnny figures out that the sea will restore Namor's memories. In a characteristic display of idiocy, he actually throws the Atlantean into the ocean. Namor races off to visit his undersea home, only to find that it has been reduced to rubble by nuclear testing. Naturally, he declares war on the human race, and backs up his threats by summoning a friggin' gigantinormous monster to eat New York.
And this is when the Thing comes up with the Best Plan Ever.
That's right. He commandeers an atomic bomb, straps it to his back, walks into the monster's mouth, leaves the bomb in its stomach, and gets the hell out of Dodge. You've just got to love the way the military hands their bomb over right away with no fuss - "No one could ever impersonate the trusted Fantastic Four, even though it was done by alien shapeshifters just three months ago! Here, have an atom bomb!"
It's then that we get one of the most important moments in FF history.
Check out Namor with the smooth line. It obviously works, too, because the love triangle between Sue, Namor and Reed is one of the central emotional subplots that drives the first few years of the comic. She's engaged to Reed, and loves him a great deal, but then there's Namor with his rippling muscles and irresistible fishiness. Not to mention he wears a fine pair of speedos.
Alas, after the atomic explosion of a giant monster fish, the actual confrontation with Namor is a let down. Johnny creates a whirlwind around him by flying really fast, then drops him in the ocean. And? What's stopping Namor from swimming right back? Nothing, but instead he shouts, "I'll be back!" then swims away like a pansy. Then again, his monster was dead. And you just don't mess with a guy who's willing to strap atomic bombs to his back.
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